Today, I went to go sign on. I’ve only recently finished uni and surprise surprise, there are no jobs. Some of my family would like to believe there actually are jobs and I’m just being a workshy fop, but there really are none. I can demonstrate this because today I was browsing the “Job-points”, and I clicked “all jobs”. After about 7 pages, and there are about 8 jobs on each page, the jobs literally ran out. There was nothing. No work. Nothing. And the jobs advertised were all requiring NVQs, BTECs, training I don’t have and can’t afford. My advisor’s advice? “Move to London”.
I thought about this and at first I turned it right down. However, in this past 5 weeks, my boyfriend dumped me (on account of me being apparently too much for him, but secretly on account of him being too scared to leave his mother’s apartment), I finished uni, and in this time of desperate need, some of my closest friends have been absent. Not even dropping a line to say hi, just truly absent. One particularly “close” friend of mine, the night before I got chucked, I spent buying her drinks and talking to her. Has she even messaged me since to check in? Has she fuck.
The literature scene in Manchester is really exciting but I’ve squeezed all I can out of it now. Aside from Bad Language, the nights thrown in Manchester are just the same old regurgitated shit over and over again, and I’m bored of it. I’ve no partner, no job, no education, no real friends, nothing left, here in Manchester. I’ve lived here for three years and this city has done nothing but fuck me over. The friends I’ve made are 90% not real friends, the opportunities aren’t real opportunities. I wasn’t lucky enough to be born into a delightful middle class family who see my poetry as a fundable whim, and that’s what separates me from a lot of the people “on the scene” in Manchester who flocked to Manchester University to study an MFA in Poetry (because Manchester’s in the Russell Group – forgetting that Manchester Metropolitan is schooled by our poet laureate).
There’s nothing left for me, so I’m starting to apply for jobs in London. I’m not being a big fish in a little pond, I’m just a little fish about to go into even a bigger pond, but Jesus, I want to have my life, now. I’m heartbroken that the love of my life actually wasn’t, and that some of my friends were so false. It’s time for me to move on. So yes, I’m applying for jobs in London, and I’m going to bugger off there.
Not much else to say, other than thanks for the memories, I guess.